The Ben Esch Website

Hey readers,

Okay, okay...I know it's been over two weeks since I last posted something, and I know that's the blogger equivalent of dropping a turd in the punch bowl.  So, first of all, sorry for that.  Nobody likes a turd in the punch bowl.  It makes the whole internet party a lot less fun for everybody. 

Anyway, I think benjaminesch.com can go in one of two directions at this point: 

Direction A:  I post something half ass about once every fourteen weeks. 

Direction B: I get my crap together and start delivering some wittiness. 

The lazy part of me is liking the looks of Direction A right now, but godammit, I'm still paying the fine folks at weebly.com five bucks a month for this website, and I refuse to waste that kind of investment.  I mean, I can buy a cold cut trio from Subway with that cash. 

So, lets go with Direction B for a while. 

And to celebrate my personal recommitment to blogging, here's a video of that freaky stomach mutant from Total Recall singing "In Your Eyes." 

Hey readers,

So, I know Halloween was a couple weeks ago, but today I came across this video of Tim Curry singing in the 1986  movie, "The Worst Witch." 

I'm not too sure on all the details, but it kinda looks like Harry Potter, except everybody's a witch and there's singing.  Oh, and they have a three minute music video in the middle of it for some reason with some of the most awesome video effects I have ever seen in my life. 

Here is the video: 

Amazing. 

Moving on: 

MORE NEWS

A big congratulations to Jay Asher for one year on the New York Times best seller list for 13 Reasons Why. 

I know you have probably read this, but if you haven't, it's a great book.  Also, he's a really nice guy and he has a neat blog. 

I mean, I know peer pressure is supposed to be a bad thing, but come on!  52 weeks on the New York Times best seller list?  Don't you want to be like the rest of the cool kids and read this book? 

Hey readers,

So, I tried to be a sparkly vampire for Halloween, but the costume didn't really come together.  All the stores were sold out of those plastic vampire fangs, and I bought some glittery body spray stuff, but it took about five coats of the stuff for any of the glitter to show up, and by that point, I had a nose bleed and my left arm was twitching, so I figured it was a good time to stop huffing body spray glitter. 

So, lacking a costume, I had to go to my old standby: dressing up like a chick.  Yeah...it was a rough Halloween this year. 

But, now that I think about it, I don't think my sparkly vampire outfit fell apart because I didn't have fangs or glitter or even one of those broody looking trench coat thingamajig.  No, what I really needed was to smell like a vampire. 

That's where Essence of Twlight comes in. 

Yep, those two chicks went and made a line of bath soaps and perfumes designed to "smell like Edward Cullen."  And they are selling like crazy.

Jesus, that is remarkable.  I know a lot of people don't like the Twilight phenomenon, but here's my take on it:

My take on it:  Good for you, Stephanie Meyer.  And if a couple of ladies want to make some bath bubbles with a hint of vampire, god bless them. 

Hell, I would love for people for people to make Dixie Nguyen smelling soap.  Or to just buy Sophomore Undercover in general.  Or, you could buy two copies: one to read, and one to rub on yourself so you get that "new book smell."  It's up to you, and that's what makes capitalism great. 

For those of you who clicked on my website because you were googling "How to smell like a vampire" or "Edward Cullen bath bubbles." 

Hi.  Welcome to the website.  So, you're into books about vampires and other scary things, are you?  Well, why don't you check out Emily Ecton.  Her books may have a bit less sparkly vampires and romantic longing than you're used to, but dammit, this woman is a talent and more people need to know about it. 

And in case anyone's wondering...

I'm totally Team Jacob.  For whatever that's worth. 

Hey readers,

I know that as a big internet celebrity and critically acclaimed author, my word carries a lot of weight, so when I tell you to check something out, you better believe I understand the full magnitude of my recommendation.  I like to think I haven't steered you guys wrong in the past: 

Stuff I've recommended for you guys in the past

1.  Read Dave Yoo
2.  Buy my book (author's note: I particularly like this suggestion)
3.  Listen to The Adam Carolla Podcast
4.  Dinosaucers. 

When I tell you that you'll like something, you can be confident that it is awesome enough to deserve the full benjaminesch.com seal of approval. 

Without further ado, allow me to present, "The Room" by Tommy Wiseau

I had been hearing rumors about this movie for months, but I finally sat down and watched it yesterday.  And holy crap was it amazing.  I don't think I've ever laughed or thought harder for 90 minutes in my entire life.

I mean, what other movies have inspired their own tribute rap songs? 

(note:  this video will be offensive for people who don't like the F word and tasty rhymes). 

 

The room is in the house, indeed.
 

And I'm gonna be talking at the downtown branch of the Los Angeles Public Library tomorrow...about reading...and teens...and why teens should be reading, I suppose (author's note: my talk still needs a little work). 

So, if you happen to be around downtown LA tomorrow and want to hear me explain why you should be reading more, I suggest that you give it a visit. 

CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON TEEN READ WEEK

Now, I'm sure there are some of you who are interested in the idea of coming to the teen read event at the downtown library, but aren't quite sure that they're ready to commit their prime Tuesday at 4PM time to hearing me talk.  Well, how about I sweeten the deal a bit. 

More reasons you should come

1.  I'm not the only one talking.  I will be joined by fabulous YA authors Cherry Cheva and Brenda Woods. 

2.  When she isn't writing hilarious YA fiction, Cherry Cheva is also one of the head writers on Family Guy.  Thus, she is at least partially responsible for the following clip. 

And since Cherry cares so much about Teen Read Week, she is going to be playing an exclusive clip from next week's episode.  Seriously.  If you come to the library tomorrow, you will get to see next week's Family Guy a solid five days before your friends and neighbors.  Just imagine that kind of bragging power. 

3.  You can win Guitar Hero somehow.  I'm guessing in a raffle.  Sorry, I just read that off the flyer, so I don't have all the details, but still...WIN GUITAR HERO. 

4.  I've been told that there will be brownies.  I don't know if these are supposed to be special "for the authors only brownies" but since we're cool, I'll make sure you get some. 

So, there you have it guys.  I hope to see you at the downtown library. 

Also, for any of you guys who live in the greater LA area but don't want to go downtown, send me an email at benjamin.esch@gmail.com, and I'll let you know where the closest library is that is participating in Teen Read Week. 

Therefore, I am completely confident that you guys want to see a video of some guys in a Salt Lake City library doing a puppet version of Adam Rex's PSST! 

A few reasons why you guys should watch it: 

1.  It clocks in at over nine minutes.  Which is like one tenth of a movie, at zero zeroeth the price. 

2.  The guy does the pig with a german accent...and maybe I'm just simple minded, but I think german accents are really funny.  Maybe I have conflicted feelings about my heritage or something.  Either way, this is some top notch pig doing a german accent action. 

3.  This video only has like 44 views, so if this springs into a "Piano Cat" type internet phenomenon, I'll feel really important. 

4.  PSST!  Is a really funny book. 

5.  And Adam Rex is awesome.  I may have mentioned this before. 

6.  Library based puppet theatre is a seriously underrated field. 

Anyway, here is the video.  Enjoy! 

Hey readers,

So, the West Hollywood Book Fair happened last Sunday and it was more fun than a book fair should be.  First of all, take a look at this picture: 

This is the stage debut of Sophomore Undercover!  Well, a couple pages of it at least, but we made up for it in sheer dramatic intensity.  Okay, to be technical, the kids who were acting supplied pretty much a hundred percent of the dramatic intensity, but I'm wearing a really pretty lei in that picture, and I think that should count for something. 

Kendall (Ms. Trasker), Riley (Dixie) and Noah (narrator) did an amazing job with the scene and if the technology existed for me to clap through the internet, you better believe that's what I would be doing right now. 

The rest of the scenes went really great too and a fun day was had by all.  And, as an added bonus, the Book Fair thought so much of the star power of the LAYAs that they set us up next to Carol Channing and the original cast of the Brady Bunch.  Oh yeah...that's star power. 

I think somebody might have snagged some video footage of this, so stay tuned for that. 

Hey readers,

Some very cool things are going to be happening this Sunday at the West Hollywood Book Fair

1.  I'm gonna get a muffin from Joans.  Goddamn do I love muffins, and they make these super delicious ones that are super dense and have some kind of crunchy corn meal stuff thrown in and I'm too lazy to drive over to Beverly Hills on a normal day, but book fair days are special. 

2.  I will be signing books/available for pleasant conversation at the LAYA (Los Angeles Young Adult Authors) table. 

3.  Some super talented kids are gonna act out a scene from "Sophomore Undercover" along with scenes from nine other really great books.  Trust me on this one, I saw the rehearsals.  This is going to be legit. 

Here's the lineup:

1 to 1:45 on the Teen Stage 

"Duplikate" by Cherry Cheva. 

"Hottie" by Jonathan Bernstein

"All About Vee" by Leigh Purtill

"Kids Inventing! -- A Handbook for Young Inventors" by Susan Casey

"Side Effects" by Amy Koss

2:30 to 3:15 on the Teen Stage

"Danger Boy" by Mark London Williams

"Snap" by Carol Snow

"The Heights the Depths and Everything in Between" by Sally Nemeth

"Simon Bloom, Gravity Keeper" by Mark London Williams

"Sophomore Undercover" by Ben Esch



So, if you've got some free time this Sunday and you know from personal experience what Randy Newman's singing about here --

-- Then you should stop by the West Hollywood Book fair and have some good times with literary minded people.  Plus, I think they sell funnel cakes, and that's always good. 

Also, I will be making my acting debut as "Big Bob" in "The Heights the Depths and Everything in Between."  Just in case some of you guys needed some extra motivation. 

CLICK HERE FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE WEHO BOOK FAIR.

There is going to be a ridiculously cool book event next Monday. 

How cool?  Well, how about a little Adam "Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich" Rex...AND Jon "The True Story of the Three Little Pigs" Scieska...AND David "No David" Shannon...AND Mac "Guess Again" Barnett. 

All on one stage. 

And holy crap is that exciting. 

This is gonna be like the Woodstock of picture book writers, just with less filthy hippies and acid, so even better than that! 

Here's the event info: 

Laughing Loudly for Literacy
Monday, September 28, 2009, 6:30 pm

Crescenta Valley High School Auditorium

2900 Community Ave, La Crescenta, CA 91214

There's some more details about tickets and such here.



So, if you live in LA come out and check this out.  I will be there in all of my fanboy glory.

Also, I heard a rumor that these guys are gonna be doing this presentation at the White House at some point or another, so if it's good enough for Barack, it's gotta be good enough for you.  I mean, what the hell else are you gonna be doing on a Monday night? 


Personal Note: 


"The True Story of The Three Little Pigs" was one of my favorite books when I was a kid and I am super excited to meet Jon Scieska. 


Personal Note #2: 


Adam Rex is quite possibly the nicest and most talented person in all of literature.  And that's not just because he blurbed my book, though that doesn't hurt him either.  The dude is just that cool.

Hey readers,

So, one question I've been getting a lot lately...

The question:  when's the next book coming out? 

The answer:  Uhh...soonish?  And on a completely unrelated note, is Costco hiring? 

So, in an effort to delay my future career in cart wrangling, I'm gonna return to  my Los Angeles office (i.e. closet with card table) and get back to scribbling.  And as a sincere apology for not having too many original thoughts and/or jokes and/or writing tips, here's a video of Christopher Walken pretending to be a cat.