Hey readers,

So, I recently joined the social networking phenomenon "twitter" and maybe I was a little late for the bandwagon, or my writing doesn't really translate well to the 140 character nugget format that they impose over there, because it hasn't really taken. 

Question:  How many people are following you on Twitter? 

Answer:  39. 

Question:  Isn't that kinda embarrassing for somebody who is trying to cultivate an internet personality? 

Answer:  Most definitely.

I haven't felt like this much of a social outcast since my Freshman year of high school, so if you want to help make sure that I won't have to hang out in the library playing Magic with the weird kids and foreign exchange students (author's note: we're still sticking with the high school analogy here) why don't you give me an add on the twitter.

Thanks guys! 

5/5/2009 10:26:42 am

Ben, you know that I would love to help you out on this one, but I simply cannot do Twitter. The reason I tell everybody who asks (no one) is that I couldn't possibly limit myself to 140 characters. I fart 140 characters. I can't imagine the effect such a ridiculous limitation would have on my obviously beautiful prose.

I refuse to play Mr. Evan Williams's little game by truncating my brilliant expositions into bit-size nuggets for the benefit of those with gnatlike attention spans. You should consider your lack of followers a badge of honor. It is not that you are unpopular; it's that your consequential debut novel attracts those among us who see Twitter for what it really is: a vehicle on which those wishing to race to the lower rungs of society's ladder all too enthusiastically ride.

5/5/2009 09:31:19 pm

currently, i follow two cats, who have a cat door hooked up to a camera and a computer. I bet they have more followers than you.

i dont know what that says

5/5/2009 11:10:13 pm

if i don't have twitter, whatever the hell that is, can i instead just add your name to my "list?"

5/6/2009 01:40:48 am

i mean.. if i had twitter.... and if there were two cats named gus and penny, who go in and out of their cat door.... yeah.. i just made all of that up.

(god, pmm, judgemental much?)

5/6/2009 07:24:53 am

Ben - I do happen to be on Twitter and I am currently following you (that sounded weird). I find those 140 characters fascinating. It forces me to write arbitrary things in the least amount of characters possible. Plus it provides extra typing practice.

Will Twitter ever surpass 140 character capability? What's the next, most ludicrous, form of communication humans will invent? My guess is that soon we'll all be commuicating in symbols.

( This means "I hear ya"

) This means "repeat that again"

# And this means "Wanna play tic-tac-toe?"

5/14/2009 09:01:44 pm

Our friendship must have a line drawn in the sand somewhere. That place is at Twitter.

Two movies scenes I want you to consider when actualizing this:
1. Big Lebowski - Walter ranting in the bowling alley, pissed off about the Dude having his rug pissed on by some chinaman - "...I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line you do not... And Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Please, Asian American."

2. Hook - Robin Williams finally learns how to fight, fly and crow... and completely shoves it right in Rufios face before the entire group. Rufio then falls to his knees and ceremoniously returns the gold sword.

Combine all of the emotion from both of these scenes and that is how much I will not cross the line in the sand and join you on Twitter.

I still love you in a heterosexual bromance sort of way.

5/20/2009 05:59:03 pm

Hi Dave Murray here, I found this little gem and thought this might be right up your street, it shows you the tools, and how to use them, and tools are free.
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7/19/2012 08:31:29 pm

With increased popularity of twitter now people are getting desperate to follow on twitter.


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