Monkey Fighting Snakes

Hey readers,

So I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I'm currently in the process of writing a middle grade novel.  This is a new experience for me, and most of it is pretty cool (author's note: may god punch me in the throat if I ever complain about this job) but one element that's been a little difficult to deal with is keeping the subject matter at least somewhere in the universe of age appropriate for fifth graders. 

For those of you who have read Sophomore Undercover, I'm sure you can understand why I've been having some difficulty with this.  

So, these video clips have been pretty helpful. 

 Why this scene is better without profanity:  Because Mr. Falcon would have been a much better name for the villain in Die Hard 2.  Or any villain in any movie in the history of cinema.  Seriously.  Try it out for yourselves. 

Why this scene works better without profanity:  Because the inclusion of monkey fighting snakes makes this video about a thousand times better.  Seriously.  This movie sucked, I think we can all admit that now.  But imagine how much better it would have been if instead of Samuel L. Jackson and the fat guy from Good Burger on a plane with a bunch of snakes, we got two solid hours of no holds barred combat between a burmese python and a chimpanzee. 

Sure, it probably wouldn't win any awards or anything, but that would be entertainment gold.  You know, provided that the chimp didn't get killed.  Those guys are really cute. 

Why this scene works better without profanity:  Walter destroys some kid's car as punishment because the kid both "found a stranger in the alps" and "fed a soldier scrambled eggs."  Call me crazy, but that kid doesn't sound like he deserves any punishment.  Hell, if anything, he's a hero.  So why's Walter so angry?  There could be a roller coaster ride of emotions in unraveling that mystery. 

Man...I'm pretty excited to see that movie now.
 
What I learned from these clips:  profanity isn't necessary for a good story. 

Though I do miss the meth jokes.  There's a surprising amount of artistic ammunition in those.