R.I.P Kirkus

 
So, I just heard that Kirkus Reviews went out of business.  I have some conflicted feelings about this.  I mean, it’s no real secret that Kirkus didn’t really like my book.  Make that they hated my book.  A lot.  Kirkus pretty much kicked me in the balls with their review of Sophomore Undercover. 

But I’m still sad that they aren’t around anymore.  To me, Kirkus Reviews was like an alcoholic, abusive uncle.  Sure, he was going to call me a fat sissy, and backhand me if the beer I brought him was too warm, but he was still family, and godammit, I wanted him to love me.  Or at least like me…a little bit.

But that isn’t going to happen.  Because Kirkus Reviews just drank himself into a stupor on moonshine, stumbled into the well and drowned (author’s note: I’m still using the drunk uncle analogy here). 
  
So, rest in peace, Kirkus Reviews.  You were a crotch kicker without compare.