Still no Sophomore Undercover fan fiction...just a heads up

4/28/2009

Hey readers,

First of all, sorry that I haven't been posting much the last couple days. I hate to make excuses (author's note: that's not actually true) but here's some of the stuff that's been keeping me from spending the quality blogging time that you guys deserve:

1. My car started urinating oil.

And I've been assured by people who know about this stuff that cars are not supposed to do that.

2. Beard maintenance.

This takes up a surprisingly large portion of my working hours. So, just consider that before you think about growing one of these things. Sure, you'll look really handsome and awesome and awesome and stuff, but there's a hidden cost.

3. I flew to San Francisco to talk to kids and find a new, non-oil urinating car.

Finding a car was a no go, but I'm looking forward to talking at Capuchino High School in San Bruno tomorrow. I'll let you guys know how all that works out.

4. I've been spending an embarrassing amount of time googling "Sophomore Undercover fan fiction."

As of yet, the only link that comes up is an earlier post where I complained about there being no "Sophomore Undercover" fan fiction on the internet. And in case you're wondering, the current lack of fan fiction hurts my self esteem exactly as much as it did the first time I wrote about it.

But on the good news side of things, all around great guy and blogging phenom Tracy over at Crossing Chalk just posted a blog the other day that uncovered a striking physical resemblance between myself and a certain handsome movie star from "Role Models." The link is here.

I'll give you a hint, it's not Paul Rudd. No, it's somebody way handsomer than that.

11 Comments

monica

4/28/2009 11:16:15 pm

i was going to send you a message to you today, asking what's up. Don't be bummed about the lack of fan fiction thing. (truthfully, i'm not even exactly sure what that is)
And don't be embarrassed by your double posting. Lots of people do that.And don't be embarrassed by your double posting. Lots of people do that.And don't be embarrassed by your double posting. Lots of people do that.
Beard maintenance, eh? Does it take more or less time than shaving every day? i've always wondered that.
I used to have a car, when i was in college, that urinated oil. Well, not quite. But i had to check the oil every time i stopped for gas. I eventually lost the cap for the oil thingy, and had a rag stuffed in there for a while. That probably wasn't good. And my first car, was a 67 plymouth belvedere. I think i bought it in 1983, for $100. There was a leak in the gas tank, and i had to park it facing uphill, so i wouldnt lose too much gas. Oh, and that oil leaking car, the starter in it died, so i had to park that one facing down hill, so i could bump start it. Ah, car adventures.... good times, good times.

Paul Michael Murphy link

4/29/2009 12:32:41 am

That was funny, Monica.

Good to have you back, Benjamin

Monica

4/29/2009 04:13:30 am

was that sarcasm, Paul Michael Murphy.

oh, and just so you know, Ben Esch, when you don't make posts, i'm forced to read PMM's blog more often.

chris

4/29/2009 05:54:28 am

"2. Beard maintenance.

This takes up a surprisingly large portion of my working hours. So, just consider that before you think about growing one of these things. Sure, you'll look really handsome and awesome and awesome and stuff, but there's a hidden cost."

oh, ben, you just broke my heart. everyone knows that the only true and pure beards are those that require no maintenance. because to trim a beard is to accept it as an object of vanity, whereas, the real beards are simply there because the grower is too lazy to shave (like mine.) there should be no trimming or tending to your beard whatsoever. you should see my neck, it looks like a group of porcupines from the 1970's having an orgy. a beard with a clean neck is like an environmentalist driving a hummer while throwing chunks of stryofoam out their window.

maybe if you spent more time maintaining your car and less on your beard, you would still have a working car. i'm sorry ben, i didn't mean that. that was just my shattered heart talking.

i'm going to go stare at my untrimmed neck beard now to calm myself. it looks remarkably like eisenheim's lower lip in case you were curious.

Kelly link

4/29/2009 08:46:22 am

You need to make reservations at a fancy California restaurant and use movie star Joe's name. Just to see what happens.
Good luck with the car and school visit!
(I don't know what fan fiction is either...)

4/29/2009 12:16:35 pm

Monica, that was sincerity. And I was referring to your repetitions, not your trouble with cars (although I won't deny that schadenfreude accounts for 90 percent of stuff I find funny.)

Chris--that was funny. (Also sincere.) The fact that the porcupines are from the 1970s is what really makes it work (but I'm sure you already knew that).

Tracy Edward Wymer link

4/29/2009 01:40:00 pm

Porcupines... orgies... sincerity... sarcasm...broken hearts... car trouble... I'm sure there's a story in there somewhere.

This is all too entertaining. I can't believe it's free.

Ben, thanks for the props. That's a funny word. Wish it were proops, that would be funnier. And closer to poop.

4/29/2009 01:54:40 pm

And thanks for calling me a phenom. The only other time I was called that was when I last gave blood. That's right, I'm a phenom blood donor.

4/29/2009 10:56:27 pm

Thanks, PMM. It's so hard to tell, and we all fall so easily into sarcasm. Which, a friend of mine tells me, is the lowest form of wit. (screw him, i say. Sarcasm is my friend.)

Schadenfreude is da bomb. (note to self... google schadenfreude.)

sigh

4/29/2009 10:57:38 pm

aha..that's what i thought it meant. You're mean, PMM>.. good thing i like you.

4/30/2009 01:00:40 am

Schadenfreude... got the meaning but wondering about pronunciation. And my roots are German... right.

The Ben Esch Website

Still no Sophomore Undercover fan fiction...just a heads up

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