I finally won a contest. 

This means a lot to me, guys.  I mean, I haven't won a contest, since...well, to be perfectly honest, I can't think of the last time I've ever actually won anything.  Uhh...turkey trot in the seventh grade?  That was pretty epic. 

But something magical happened the other day: 

I won a caption contest on YA Fresh and got my very own copy of the very cool book "The ABC's of Kissing Boys" by the fabulous Tina Ferraro. 

And as much as this was a huge moment for me and my ego, there's one slight little problem. 

The slight little problem:

I already own a copy of "The ABCs of Kissing Boys" by the fabulous Tina Ferraro. 

And as much as I want to hoard my boy kissing themed literature, I thought that I would share my bounty with all of the wonderful readers on benjaminesch.com

But there's a catch.  A fun, write your own caption kinda catch. 

I want you guys to take a look at this picture. 

Cute huh? 

This was the picture that was the inspiration for my award winning caption--Cat: This is the last time that I use Craigslist.   (Author's note:  Ben, you are hysterical.)

Pretty good, right?  Now let's see if you guys can do any better. 

The rules for the First Annual benjaminesch.com Caption Contest

1.  Write a caption for the cat and dog picture and submit it in the comments. 

This is still cute, right?  Awesome. 

2.  Keep it classy. 

Or don't.  I'm not the moral police here.  Just make me laugh.  Or cry.  Bottom line: I'm looking to feel something here. 

3.  The winner will be announced soon to soonish.

4.  The prize is a copy of Tina Ferraro's "The ABCs of Kissing Boys." 

I'm reading this book right now, and I guarantee that it is awesome. 

But you know what?  I don't think you guys need the book to enter this contest.  I think you just get off on the raw adrenaline rush of competing in no-holds barred caption contests. 

And I don't blame you.

Let the caption contest begin! 

2/5/2009 04:32:44 pm

Cat: This is the lat time I use Craigslist!

Pow! Still funny.

2/5/2009 11:12:37 pm

Dog: You smell like a dead zebra.

2/5/2009 11:24:52 pm

Cat: You wanna go? huh? do ya?

2/6/2009 02:32:30 am

DOG: Before I plant this kiss on you, can I please see some ID? You look underage.

2/6/2009 05:32:21 am

Cat: There's no easy way to say this...I have herpes.

2/6/2009 08:22:12 am

Cat: Altoid?

2/6/2009 09:56:38 am

Dog: Yeah, but are you 18 in dog years.

Tracy Edward Wymer
2/7/2009 02:09:38 am

Cat: That's the biggest doggone booger I ever seen!

2/7/2009 10:50:15 pm

"Cats rule, dogs drool."

Oh, wait, I am probably exempt from this contest since I wrote the giveaway book.

Oh, well, I think I'll just live on the fact that Ben called me The Fabulous Tina Ferraro. (Yes, I like it better in all initial caps.)

Best of luck to all who enter,

The Fabulous Tina Ferraro

2/8/2009 01:55:47 am

Not pictured: Giant mule.

2/9/2009 03:59:34 am

I smell some young p***y

2/9/2009 04:18:47 am

Dog: I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Ben Esch ate your little brother.

2/10/2009 04:26:45 am

Dog: I know you're eager, but I cannot go again. Not after that vigorous sandpaper tongue lashing you just performed on the boys downstairs.

2/11/2009 02:55:01 am

More of a dialogue, less of a caption (but I'm a rebel):

DOG: What seems to be the problem here?

CAT: You were weavin' back there... what have you been doing tonight?

DOG: Nothing! Nothing.

CAT: Have you been drinking this evening?

DOG: No! I swear.

CAT: So if I gave you a breathalyzer... if I had you blow on my instrument, would you blow straight zeroes?

DOG: (awkward silence)

2/11/2009 06:11:36 am

True friends to do booger checks.

Tina Ferraro
2/16/2009 03:13:48 am

It's official: you have very funny blog friends, too.

BTW, is there an end-date on this contest?


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