Hello readers

So, for those of you who don't know, I'm a writer.  Yes, I write actual honest to god books and I even throw in a few multi-syllable words to keep things interesting. 

  How do you find time to write books with all the posts about Michael Jackson and space dinosaurs? 

Answer:  I have absolutely no life. 

But, in the quest to make my life a little better, I need to make sure that my debut novel "Sophomore Undercover" sells some copies when it's released on February 24th.  More specifically, I need to make sure that I sell a crap ton of books (little known fact: "crap ton" is a standard unit of measurement in the publishing industry). 

Question:  And what's the best way to make sure that I sell a crap ton of books? 

Answer:  By giving my books away for free, of course.  Wait...that doesn't make any sense. 

Screw it, I'm still gonna give these books away. 

While supplies last, I'm offering the readers of dixienguyen.com an absolutely FREE copy of my book a full MONTH before it's available to the general public (author's note:  general public = suckers). 

And when I say free, I mean free.  This isn't "free" like those "free" t-shirts credit card companies give out at baseball games, and then send you "special offers" in the mail for the next fifteen years of your life.  Nobody's gonna ask for your social security number or anything.  I just want to give you a free book.  For realsies. 

I just need you to do me one little favor:

The favor: Tell people that you liked my book.

Now, hopefully this won't be too hard for you.  Hopefully you'll like "Sophomore Undercover" so much that you'll want to call all your friends and tell them to  buy a copy.  That's the ideal situation.  But, if you hate the book, I'd appreciate it if you still told people that you liked it, anyway.  Because anything else is going to really screw up my marketing plan. 

So, if you're interested in joining the front lines in the promotional campaign for "Sophomore Undercover" (a.k.a Operation: Ben Wants To Buy A Hyundai) here's what you need to do: 

1. Email me at benjamin.esch@gmail.com and tell me where to send the book.
2. Read the book. 
3. Love the book. 
4. Tell all your friends that "Sophomore Undercover" is funny/neat/the must read book of the year (author's note: I prefer that last one.  Just FYI). 
5.  Join a service organization/cult/health club and make more friends. 
6.  Repeat steps 4 and 5 until Ben can afford a jet ski. 

And as an added bonus, the reader who tells the most people about Sophomore Undercover will receive a special prize.  I still haven't worked out what the prize is going to be exactly, but here are some possibilities: 

Possible Special Prizes

1.  Dinner with Ben (Author's note: limited to those in the greater Los Angeles area.  Oh, and we're gonna need to go Dutch.  I mean, I'm not Stephenie Meyer.  Okay, I'll pay for the whole thing, but I'm choosing the restaurant.  You like Panda Express, right?)
2.  An original power ballad sung by Ben about how awesome you are (to be posted on dixienguyen.com)
3.  A character will be named after you in Ben's next book. 

Thanks readers.  You're the best.

12/9/2008 01:29:36 am

ooh..... a TOTALLY FREE ADVANCE COPY?????? i'm in.

stamatios Sammy Dentino
12/9/2008 05:16:00 am

Hell ya!!! I cant wait to read it!!!

12/9/2008 06:14:53 am

Ben do you know Sammy?

12/9/2008 06:19:09 am


Yeah, me and Sammy have been buds since college.

Ben Esch

12/10/2008 12:24:33 am

Did i know that? I feel like i've lost a lot of my memory. A LOT.

12/10/2008 05:16:47 am

i like your aggresiveness.

however, i will opt to acquire my copy of your book the old fashioned way -- via United States minted legal currency cash monies at a licensed book retailer near me.

however, i will still tell everybody i know to buy your book. how's that for generosity? i am so generous. so, so generous.

12/10/2008 05:45:50 am


But are you sure you don't want a free book? Don't get me wrong, you buying the book is great and all, but that costs money. Hard earned money that could be used for other books.

You see, my book wouldn't cost any money. You'd just have to tell your friends that you liked it. If it makes you feel any better, you could get a free book AND then buy a book when it comes out. Everybody wins, right?

12/10/2008 08:01:33 am

i'm opting for a power ballad. please.

12/10/2008 10:45:58 pm

My goal is to convince so many people to buy the book (once i get my TOTALLY FREE ADVANCE COPY!!) that i will win both the power ballad, and have someone named after me (either a character in your book, or i'll settle for your first born child.)

12/12/2008 06:48:38 am

Definitely!! I would love it!! I'm a a teacher, and perhaps I can talk you up. I also write a monthly column for our local newspaper here at Penn State, and do a blog for the paper as well. Let me know if I can help in any way.. :-)

12/12/2008 06:49:11 am

Do you need my address?

12/13/2008 11:06:58 am

Pick me! I'll take a free book! I'm going to tell all of Tom Hank's myspace friends about it!

12/14/2008 08:57:06 am

I would love a free book. It sounds right up my reading alley. And not only will I tell people about it, I'll write about it on my blog, where a whole 2-3 other people will read about it! Plus, my best friend from high school is Filipino, which is pretty close to Vietnamese, right? So he'll probably read it.

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